1.
Cat: Meow. :3
Me: No, you are not ^@%#ing hungry for the 666th time in the past hour.
Cat: Meow
Me: I fed you 10 minutes ago, you stupid mother^#@%.
Cat: silent
2.
Me: Gets up from seat and walks to kitchen to pour a glass of water or something
Cat: follows excitedly, expecting to be fed
Me, staring directly into cat’s eyes: #%@ no.
Cat: Meow
Cat: Meow
Me: Meow!!!!!!!!!!
Cat: Meow
Me: Shut the #^@^ up
Cat: Meow
Me: Does what I came to kitchen for, starts walking back to office
Cat: Eagerly thinks I’m bringing him food, skips ahead of me to the office
Cat, upon arrival: Meow!
Cat, realizing there is no food: Silent
Me: That’s right, you @#^!ing beggar.
3.
Me, or any other family member: Eating food.
Cat: Approaches cautiously, but shamelessly.
Me, or any other family member: No!!
Cat: Ignores reprimand
Me, or any other family member: No!! Bad kitty!
Cat: Cranes neck to sniff human food while reaching for it with paw
Me, or any other family member, while blocking Cat with fist: No! No! No!
Cat: Retreats from the hammering motion of the fist.
The above cycle repeats 3 or so times.
Cat: Continuously harassing family for food
Me: The room it is.
Me: Picks up cat, who has begun to meow in protest. Deposits cat in room.
Cat: Meow
Cat: moves quickly in attempt to escape from room
Me: Closes room.
Me: Bye, Onyx!
Good thing he’s cute.
mostly in store 