About

Hey, I’m just some guy in a period of transition – from not even knowing what motivation is to attempting to find motivation for some worthwhile things. My motivation for wanting to find motivation, if you will, comes from having suddenly realized (or rather, re-realized after being led astray by the wretched and deadening experience of adolescence + school) that the world is an interesting place, and a compellingly wonderful place.

In school I always considered math as sort of my thing, (although in middle school and early freshman year I also considered writing and lit my thing as that was when I still read a lot for pleasure), because I participated in standard math competition crap which, I guess I was OK at, but not really enough for it to mean anything. Plus, obviously, the K12 math curriculum was a breeze. The other subjects were also simple to do well in, but they took studying and time-consuming effort, courtesy of high school’s trademark tedious assignments. I know I experienced mild stress in high school, but I can’t remember feeling the stress or exactly what it was over. College application fodder, probably. But I digress.

Though I suppose I could fit the label of a ‘math person,’ the wonderfulness in living I’ve recently found has to do with things like books, animation, music, films, and introspection. Note the absence of math in my current array of interests. I don’t disbelieve that I have an affinity for math – the math I would enjoy doing consists of solving puzzles, laboring to understand stuff, and noticing beauty. The feeling of engaging in those mathematical activities has simply faded after to the point where math doesn’t appeal that much to me anymore. I will blame that on my lack of motivation/discipline as well as the education system. But I’m pretty sure math in college will be a different experience, for the better.

I really don’t like it when I’m classified as an ‘x person,’ because I believe I should be able to feel drawn to + capable of doing whatever I want. Right now, there are a ton of things I would want dearly to undertake, were it not for the lack of my preexisting skills/resilience/resources. The closest I can come to the dreams I currently harbor lies in consuming whatever works (film, books, anime) I can while endeavoring to connect with, understand, and above all, appreciate the material I am exposed to. Yes, I am on a quest for culture. Expect this to be a blog about that.

(and other assorted things, possibly, if I have the energy/investment to write about them, yaknow.)

Enjoy (hopefully)